I live in Thailand. While most of you know this, I have yet to properly introduce you to where I am currently making my home. In true procrastinatory fashion, I will take you on a tour of my neighbourhood three weeks before I leave it. Yes, you might protest that I've already had 10 months to organize something of this nature, and you wold be right to do so. However, I don't care.
Nichada Thani
The neighbourhood that I live in is called Nichada Thani.
As well as being the place of my employment, Nichada is where it all goes down. Let us begin the tour.
Conor's house (Garden Condo)
This is where the drinking and merry-making occurs. This is also where this creature lives, terrorizing the fellow condo-dwellers:
(Take note of the rage in her eyes as she sees the purity of the water. She will consume it with her wrath.)As you leave Conor's house to go to my house (a wise decision), you walk down this path:
On your left, you'll see this marvel of gross overspending:
(I think this is where Howard Hughes and Elvis have their orgies)
(I think this is where Howard Hughes and Elvis have their orgies)
After a long and sweaty walk, you'll come to my house. Danicha Garden Condo. At this point, you will most like dive in to the pool fully-clothed:
After that, you'll take the elevator up to the 6th floor and make your way all the way down the hallway to condo number 310. Before you enter, however, something compels you to look behind you to view the filthy Bangkokian skyline:
Believe it or not, (actually, believe it or else) those buildings are completely empty, aside from the odd crazy homeless person. There are eighteen buildings that were constructed around 1996 in anticipation of the Chinese takeover of Hong Kong. Bangkok figured they were going to get a lot of immigrants, so they started building new highrises to accommodate the influx. However, they underestimated how much people would like to bump into Jackie Chan in his hometown, and no one came to live in these monoliths.
You enter the condo and go downstairs to the 'living room'. This room is basically unused, as I think there's the ghost of a dead Teletubby living there:
(Nothing to see here)
You enter the condo and go downstairs to the 'living room'. This room is basically unused, as I think there's the ghost of a dead Teletubby living there:
(Nothing to see here)
Whether the ghost is real or not, I can tell you with perfect honesty that I've seen this monster in the living room more than once:
(The eyes are glowing with a fierce intelligence.)
(The eyes are glowing with a fierce intelligence.)You continue down another flight of stairs and enter my room:
I know it doesn't look like much, but this is where I do most of my brilliant thinking. Particularly in one section of the room:
Generally, you'll find me in bed, reading Herman comics and playing with my hair. This is my typical view from the bed:
(Note that you're looking at the picture that is being displayed on the monitor. If you have good eyes, you can see that this picture is even being displayed on the monitor that's in the picture on the monitor. Thailand is truly a mystical place.)
I know it doesn't look like much, but this is where I do most of my brilliant thinking. Particularly in one section of the room:
Generally, you'll find me in bed, reading Herman comics and playing with my hair. This is my typical view from the bed:
(Note that you're looking at the picture that is being displayed on the monitor. If you have good eyes, you can see that this picture is even being displayed on the monitor that's in the picture on the monitor. Thailand is truly a mystical place.)BFD!
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